Venda do Novo Banco pode representar 8% do M&A na banca europeia este ano

[Pata-Hari]

LOLLLLLLLLLLL, já conhecia mas é muiiiiiiito gira.

[Fernando dos Aidos]

OK. Se estamos numa de descontracção, não resisto a colocar esta (não sei se já a conhecem).

Diálogo entre o George (Bush) e a Condi (Condoleeza Rice):

Oval Office, President of US and his National Security Advisor.
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?

[didi]

é bom espreitar o caldeirão ao fim de algum tempo de ausência e ver que muda de caldeirão mas não o humor!
Excelente Pata! Como sempre aliás
beijinhos
didi

[Carocha]

LOLLLLLLLL

só falta aí uma de alentejanos lol

Jinhos Patarruxa, bom dia!

[Paciente]

Está demais! Espetacular!

Fartei-me de rir aqui sózinho... Este bom humor logo pela manhã é bom tónico para resto do dia.

Beijinhos Pata

[Pata-Hari]

Opáa, mas eu achei tão giro, lol.



What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you know when you're leading a pathetic life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, what do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
Her navel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo machine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex, too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do drivers education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the Cuban National Anthem?
Row, row, row your boat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."