Sistemas económicos
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Bom , eu hoje estou por tudo ...
FALEMOS DE VACAS !!
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows
and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors.
So, who needs people?
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two sheep. That one on the left is kinda cute...
Continuamos com as vacas ou mudamos para as galinhas ?!
Um abraço ,
The Mechanic
FALEMOS DE VACAS !!
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows
and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors.
So, who needs people?
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two sheep. That one on the left is kinda cute...
Continuamos com as vacas ou mudamos para as galinhas ?!
Um abraço ,
The Mechanic
" Os que hesitam , são atropelados pela retaguarda" - Stendhal
"É óptimo não se exercer qualquer profissão, pois um homem livre não deve viver para servir outro "
- Aristoteles
http://theflyingmechanic.blogspot.com/
"É óptimo não se exercer qualquer profissão, pois um homem livre não deve viver para servir outro "
- Aristoteles
http://theflyingmechanic.blogspot.com/
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- Mensagens: 4564
- Registado: 16/12/2004 15:48
- Localização: Sintra
Não restam dúvidas de que vivemos num socialismo burocrático, o meu problema, é que não vi em nenhuma das outras descrições alguma em que me agradasse viver... Talvez o capitalismo... sempre seria mais construtivo e mais produtivo... E se há coisa que detesto é os oportunistas dos visinhos. No entanto não sou economista por isso pode me estar a escapar qualquer coisa.
- Mensagens: 15
- Registado: 18/7/2005 13:30
Sistemas económicos
Este é um assunto no ambito mais teorico da economia.
Para quem estuda ou estudou economia,sabe do que se trata.
De seguida está uma descrição de forma irónica dos vários sistemas económicos:
FEUDALISMO
Tu tens duas vacas.O teu chefe leva algum do leite produzido.
SOCIALISMO PURO
Tu tens duas vacas.O governo leva-as e coloca-as num estaleiro juntamente com as vacas de toda a gente.Tu tens que cuidar de todas as vacas.O governo dá-te todo o leite que necessitares.
SOCIALISMO BUROCRATICO
Tu tens duas vacas.O governo leva-as e coloca-as num estaleiro juntamente com as vacas de toda a gente.Elas são tratadas por ex-criadores de galinhas.Tu tens que cuidar das galinhas que o governo tirou aos criadores de galinhas.O governo dá-te a quantidade de leite e ovos que a lei acha que tu necessitas.
FASCISMO
Tu tens duas vacas.O governo leva as duas, contrata-te para cuidares das vacas e depois vende-te o leite
COMUNISMO PURO
Tu tens duas vacas.Os teus vizinhos ajudam-te a cuidar delas e todos partilham o leite.
DITADURA
Tu tens duas vacas.O governo leva-as e prende-te a ti.
DEMOCRACIA PURA
Tu tens duas vacas.Os teus vizinhos dicidem quem fica com o leite.
DEMOCRACIA REPRESENTATIVA
Tu tens duas vacas.Os teus vizinhos escolhem alguém para te dizer quem fica com o leite.
ANARQUISMO PURO
Tu tens duas vacas.Ou tu vendes o leite a um preço justo, ou os teus vizinhos tiram-te as vacas e depois matam-te.
CAPITALISMO
Tu tens duas vacas.Vendes uma e compras um boi.
SURREALISMO
Tu tens duas girafas.O governo exige que frequentes aulas de piano.
Para quem estuda ou estudou economia,sabe do que se trata.
De seguida está uma descrição de forma irónica dos vários sistemas económicos:
FEUDALISMO
Tu tens duas vacas.O teu chefe leva algum do leite produzido.
SOCIALISMO PURO
Tu tens duas vacas.O governo leva-as e coloca-as num estaleiro juntamente com as vacas de toda a gente.Tu tens que cuidar de todas as vacas.O governo dá-te todo o leite que necessitares.
SOCIALISMO BUROCRATICO
Tu tens duas vacas.O governo leva-as e coloca-as num estaleiro juntamente com as vacas de toda a gente.Elas são tratadas por ex-criadores de galinhas.Tu tens que cuidar das galinhas que o governo tirou aos criadores de galinhas.O governo dá-te a quantidade de leite e ovos que a lei acha que tu necessitas.
FASCISMO
Tu tens duas vacas.O governo leva as duas, contrata-te para cuidares das vacas e depois vende-te o leite
COMUNISMO PURO
Tu tens duas vacas.Os teus vizinhos ajudam-te a cuidar delas e todos partilham o leite.
DITADURA
Tu tens duas vacas.O governo leva-as e prende-te a ti.
DEMOCRACIA PURA
Tu tens duas vacas.Os teus vizinhos dicidem quem fica com o leite.
DEMOCRACIA REPRESENTATIVA
Tu tens duas vacas.Os teus vizinhos escolhem alguém para te dizer quem fica com o leite.
ANARQUISMO PURO
Tu tens duas vacas.Ou tu vendes o leite a um preço justo, ou os teus vizinhos tiram-te as vacas e depois matam-te.
CAPITALISMO
Tu tens duas vacas.Vendes uma e compras um boi.
SURREALISMO
Tu tens duas girafas.O governo exige que frequentes aulas de piano.
- Mensagens: 217
- Registado: 30/3/2005 20:54
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